Pilot Episode: “Strapjob”

Setting: Church, light choir and/or organ music as we slowly pan into the first pew. As we pan into the first pew we can see the back of a man in a suit, his shoulders start to shake and as the pan gets closer we can hear him shuddering to stifle cries. A proud father about to see his little girl get married. As the pan zooms in to him with his own bride on his left, he is met with an elbow to the ribs. His wife turns.

Maryann: For god’s sake Sonny, she’s getting married, not dying.

Narrator [Me?]: Truly a love story for the ages

Intro montage / song: Billy Joel’s Keeping the Faith

Setting: 1950’s Philadelphia. A young man in his late teens walks down the street, looking like someone that stepped out of a Grease cast reunion. He casually greets his friends on the street as he walks by various row-homes. [single camera shot]

Character: Yo Sonny!

Sonny: How’s it going Numpy!?

Etc…

Sonny arrives to meet his buddy on a particular corner, he bums a cigarette off of him.

Sonny: How’s it going Jackie?

Jackie: Hiyas Joe, not a lot goin’ on right now. Yo. Can you believe Numpy tried asking out that Okomski girl? She shot him down and laughed about it. Right in the guy’s face! Hey’yo that Polack girl is a nutjob.

Sonny: Yeah, she’s a piece of work. I don’t know what kind of Strapjob is gonna put up with her.

Jackie: Beats me pal. Did youse here my cousin got the bronze star in Korea?

Sonny: Oh yeas. I heard that. When’s he getting back?

Jackie begins to explain but the sound is drowned out by an angelic chorus as a young Joseph Okomski sees a young, blonde girl in her teens pass by on the opposite sidewalk. Maryann Trojecki flips her hair behind her and the two lock eyes for a moment across the street before she looks back to the sidewalk in front of her. Sonny stares like an idiot, jaw agape. Seconds feel like hours.

Jackie: Right?

Sonny snaps back to reality,

Sonny: Uhuh, yeah. Seeyas Jackie

Sonny starts walking back home

Cut to approximately 15 minutes ago in Maryann Trojecki’s house.

Maryann: Hey Mommy, I’m going to work.

Mom: Aright babe, be safe.

Maryann walks from her row-home to the bakery she works at. On the way she flicks her hair and happens to lock gaze with that Okomski guy. She keeps right on walking to the corner bakery where she works the counter. After meeting with a few customers…

queue montage of guys coming in to flop-sweat hit on her,

“Hey you know, I just think…”

“Next!”

Maryann rolls her eye as the next customer approaches the counter until….

Joseph Okomski’s little sister, Lillian “Lil” walks in. They chit-chat while she completes her order, but the register has incorrect change. Maryann has to under charge her by one cent.

Lil: Oh no I’m sorry about that hun.

Maryann: No problem, just bring an extra penny back next time youse are in.

The camera follows Lil walking back home, casually greeting people as she walks back. She opens the row home door and casually walks in, just a routine grocery trip. As she sets the order down in the house she shouts out.

Lil: Heyyo! We owe the bakery a penny next time we go inner!

Sonny snaps his head into the kitchen.

Sonny: Is that Okomski girl workin’ the counter?

Lil: When I was there, yea.

Rock music (Johnny B Good) plays to match Sonny’s frantic energy as he rummages through every drawer he can get his hands on to find a penny for Mary. After ripping half the house apart, he gets his hand on a beautiful one-cent piece.

Sonny: 1929, good year.

Cut to Sonny rushing down the street as if he were delivering the cure to cancer. Neighborhood boys yell “yos” at him and he waves back half-heartedly on his way down the sidewalk. Cars scream to a halt and honk at him as he sprints through a crosswalk. He arrives at the bakery, panting, out of breath.

Sonny: I’m Lil’s big brother. I heard we owed you a penny.

Maryann [staring at him like he’s an escaped psychopath, her eyes darting back and forth, but her voice softens]:… yeah.

Sonny puts the penny on the counter: so that’s for you. 1929 good year.

Maryann: Yeah… if you don’t count the stock market crash….

Sonny, still trying to catch his breath, whips his sweaty hair over his brow: Yeah, but before that it was a pretty good time, right?

Maryann: Sure.

Sonny: I just heard you liked history… anyways, djyouse hear Jackie Cataldi’s cousin got the bronze star in Korea?

Maryann is getting bored with all the guys coming into the bakery to ask her out.

Maryann: Yeah, I, I heard.

Sonny, starting to regain his breath: Ok, well, there’s your penny. I’m gonna, I’m gonna get goin.

Maryann [quizically]: Ok… all that over a penny?

Sonny [resigned] throws his head over his shoulder and softly shrugs: Yeah, I guess so.

Sonny shamefully walks out, the doorbell dings as he walks back into the street.

Another girl who was waiting for her order serves as witness: “I didn’t know that Okomski boy could get nervous.”

Maryann: Is he that guy from the other end of Almond Street?

Other girl: Yeah, he’s the one whose always getting kicked out of school… kinda cute though.

Maryann [pensively]: Yeah, he’s cute when he sweats.

Cut to Sonny walking back home, disheveled: Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He walks through the front door, announces that the penny situation has been resolved.

Cut to a few hours later, he answers a knock on the door. It’s Mary.

Sonny: Yo

Mary: Yo

They both stand awkwardly without actually looking at each other and shuffling their feet.

Sonny: If issabout the penny I uh I can get more…

Mary cuts him off: Oh no, no. I just wanted to letchas know that I’m working the counter on Tuesday, so if you guys need anything, I can make sure its fresh. [she keeps looking in different directions as she speaks]

Sonny: Oh yeah, I’ll see what we need, but uh…. Yeah. I’ll uh I’ll come by.

Mary: Ok.

Sonny: Ok.

Sonny collapses after he closes the door. He pants as we cut to credits and Billy Joel starts playing.